Somewhere In The Middle

It was a time of great excitement as I stepped out of school, once and for all. The weight of my school bag didn’t matter anymore, in fact it felt like the only thing I was taking back home that day, apart from all the memories I’d made of course. Everyone at school said this was going to be my first step into the world outside, that I would feel unsure and confused without them to protect me. And I didn’t really believe that. It wasn’t that I didn’t love my teachers, but I wasn’t afraid of the world outside, I welcomed it. I loved that I would make my own decisions. I couldn’t wait to go to college and more than anything… I was eager to finally study ONLY the subjects that interested me. Two months into my college life and I still had no idea what all my school teachers were talking about. I figured I might be doing something wrong. I was having the time of my life. No, I wasn’t partying with my friends. Being the self-centered narcissist that I am, I always kept to myself and my laptop, to such an extent that a friend suggested that I get married to the purple machine I spent most of my time with. For the first few months of my college I was still suffering from the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), the board exams had caused. And now all of a sudden I had all this free time and I didn’t know what to do with it. For the first few months I studied just about half of what I would for a school exam and to my greatest surprise I ended up getting the highest in the department. To be honest, college life is a time to introspect, to gain knowledge and not about studying. My advice to any college student would be, use this time to figure out the kind of person you want to be for the rest of your life because after these three years your life will truly begin. You will take your first step towards your future. For me, college life is almost over and I’m once again leaving a known environment and stepping into an unknown world. I don’t know if I will make it, I don’t know if I will succeed, all I know, is that I can handle whatever life throws at me and I won’t give up, this is what travelling alone has taught me, this is what preparing for exams without my parents’ constant nagging has taught me.

Sometimes it hurts my ego to think I’m still a student, sometimes I feel afraid to officially be an adult. That’s why I say, this time is to figure out who you really are. I got into arguments with my parents about issues I  would usually avoid and this was confusing for them too because maybe they felt I wasn’t  experienced enough to voice my opinions with such conviction. But thankfully, they have now gladly embraced and welcomed this side of me, so much so that these days I am encouraged to give my opinion and most of the time they like it and accept my ideas.

And finally, an honest revelation to all my friends in school or college; it doesn’t matter if you get 80% instead of 85%, what matters is that you learn something from that 80% and you learn to accept that 80% without blaming it on a teacher or your friend. The first step towards success is progress.