Waiting For Patience

Patience. Sometimes this can be the most annoying thing to hear. Especially if you are as hyper an individual or as driven by adrenaline as I am. One of the biggest problems of being impatient is getting irritated by the constant lack of urgency in others. Sometimes I feel like fast forwarding these actions. Well obviously to others, I come across as a hyper and restless individual and I apologize for coming across as an irritable person, but no, I am not sorry.

The one thought that scares me to no end is how do I keep going if I have nothing to look forward to? How do I get up in the morning if I don’t have something to achieve, something to work hard for.

I wonder, is everyone feeling the same way? But then I see people living their lives peacefully. Content with where they are. Enjoying life as it is. Is it only me then?

I am driven by the constant need to move. Staying in the exact place where I was yesterday is what accounts for a complete waste to me.

No. I cannot be patient. If I am to do something, I’d rather do it now. If I want something I want it now. Some people might supplement this logic with the YOLO (You Only Live Once) attitude. But I’m not afraid of  a forgotten to do list after I die. What bothers me is a day wasted i.e. a day where I didn’t do anything that takes me forward, that makes me better than I was yesterday.  I hear spiritual leaders talking about enjoying peace. I hear people saying good things come to those who are patient.

It’s not like I haven’t tried. I did and I still do. But then again I think, instead of waiting patiently for something great to happen, won’t my time be better spent working to achieve something great.

Maybe patience is the virtue of a few rare superhuman who are above ambition, above the constant need to move forward. Maybe patience is for people who are content with their lives, who have learned to see the beauty of life the way it is.

If that be true, I am glad I’m no superhuman. I need ambition, I need to move forward. If I am content with the way life is, how would I make it better? For me, the beauty of life lies in the exciting journey of moving forward, of meeting new people, having new experiences and to some extent beauty of life is also in being afraid, beauty is in anything that makes me feel alive.

We all are living but only some of us are truly alive!


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